Babies

Licking Poop

Prepare to be grossed out! So I may be alone on this, but you know when your kids have something on their face, food, dried out milk, dried out drool, you put your finger on your tongue and clean their face off….anyone? No? OK! Well, I do. I did it with Sidney until he figured out a couple of years ago that it was gross. I’m like…Sidney, I have been doing this since you were a baby - what do you mean gross? Poor child! Anyway, I still do it with him, and he’ll wipe his face off and say ewwww or something like that.

I have moved onto Zurhi. She does not know how to complain about it yet, so whatever. Anyway, one day, she had dried out food on her face, so I licked my finger then wiped her face, then licked my finger again. I smelled poop, but I didn’t think it was on her face. I figured she had a poopy diaper, but at the same time, the food on her face didn’t taste or smell like food.

Jesus! I smelt my finger and yup, you guessed right! It was poop on her face. How the hell did she get poop on her face? I mean, it was all over her face and I was l licking the hell out of it. You can hear Sidney in the background getting all grossed out, but I didn’t care. She is my daughter. She is a baby and her poop is not potent enough to be grossed out yet (I had to make myself feel better).

Greg took her to the bathroom to wash her off and change her diaper while I went into the bathroom, to brush my teeth and throw up. Lessons learned.

Now, before I lick my kids’ face. I smell it first! The truth is, I don’t get grossed out by anything pertaining to my kids. When they throw up, I catch it in the palm of my hands, when they pee on me, it’s all good. When they have a cold and are too tiny to understand what ‘blow your nose means,’ I suck it out with my mouth. What???? Piss off! I don’t know how to use that suction thing. Besides, my mother did it, my mother’s mother did it - it’s tradition.

Back in the day especially in third world countries, you think they knew what suctions were? Please! I may look posh, funky, stylish, fly when you see me out and about, but at home…I am traditional and old school to the core. I believe in old wives remedies. Greg now does it by default as well. It works just fine for me and bottom line, I don’t care what anyone thinks.

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