Relationships
How Soon Is Too Soon…
…to say those words, “I love You” in a relationship? Does it come with maturity and age? Do some mistake it for lust? Does it come after sex? Do you just go with your gut/feeling? Or do you wait for the him/her to say it first?
Personally, I don’t remember when I said it to Greg, but I do know it was pretty early on. You know when you hear people say that you just know when you meet the one? I know it sounds cliche, but yes, that was our situation, so everything fell into place. It felt normal, it was effortless, nothing was forced.
While you have to be careful with these words, I still think it’s important to love freely (despite any hurt in the past). If you don’t, your are cheating yourself and your ability to grow. I am obviously no love expert and I too, have had my share of ups and downs in relationships, but I have enough experience to learn and grow from.
I think most women are scared to say it first, and therefore rely on or wait around for their partner to say it first…thinking that it somehow confirms that a relationship is established, he truly loves her, or may be gives a sense of comfort?!? Personally, I think this also gives the man the upper hand - thereby controlling the pace of the relationship. However, I could be wrong.
Men, what happens if the woman says it first? Whether you admit or not, I think some men long to hear it. And their heart skips a bit when they do hear it from the woman they love…as it should. But what really does happen when you hear your woman say it first? Is it scary? Do you think she is moving too fast? Is it all about timing, and if so why should it be? Why place time or date on feelings?
Are there rules? Just curious.
What’s the fuss about saying “I love you” afterall, it does not imply that your are in love with that person…or does it? We tend to mix those two up, don’t we?
My thoughts are, when venturing into any sort of relationships - friendship, dating, marriage, etc. - go in with an open heart. Be real. Communicate. Be yourself. Be upfront. Love…love like it’s your first time with butterflies in your stomach. It’s ok to let go.
What are your thoughts?
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Hmm…its no news that the word ‘love’ has lost its essence. He-goats these days merely say it 2 please wiv’ no depth to it. I would love it if a gurl says ‘I LOVE YOU’ wivout me promptin’ her to. But there’s one question I’ll always ask her…”do you MEAN it?” Love isn’t wot most of us think it is…love isn’t strong till it’s tested. Nice note…
I would have to say that sometimes it is not even necessary to say the actual words, I love you. Unspoken words can communicate it in a way words can’t. And yes I agree with you, you just know when you meet the right one. It happens and no words need to be said.
The only way to really feel love is to give freely of yourself. And to give freely is to open yourself up to love and possibly to hurt. Difficult in the beginning… yes especially if you have been hurt in the past. No one says you have to do it all at once. Take the steps gradually and you will know when you are ready to open up your whole being to someone else, flaws and all.
Are there rules in the game of love. Yes but rules are defined by the players. Rules from past relationships or from relationships observed from the outside looking in, do not apply. Make rules that work for both of you. Being true to you is a rule not to be broken in the pursuit of love.
@ Tosin, thank you. A part of me agrees with you that ‘love’ has lost its essence, and a part of me wants to continue to have faith in love. Glad to hear a man’s perspective, though.
@ Kwavi, I agree with you completely. Your last paragraph is intriguing and powerful. Never thought of it that way. ‘Rules in the game of love are defined by players.’ Thanks. Appreciate your comment.
Kwavi, I agree with you on many of the points you made. I do think that “I love you” can be said too soon thus it takes away from the affair. Matter of fact, it is probably best if you say it as less frequent as possible, so that it doesn’t lose it’s meaning .
It’s much better to show it.
@ Adanma, I ABSOLUTELY believe in saying it infrequently. So that when you do say it, it’s magnitude. It’s powerful. Of course, in the interim, your actions should show how much you love or are in love with your partner.
i think it would be good to have lots of wives the love that would be around the home and you wouldn’t be londy at all how mandy aer londy out there now more the better i say