Babies
Missing Fathers.
What are the effects of a home without a father? Having a home with a missing father can be the result of many different things:
- Dad passed on early in a child’s life
- He could have been sent to war
- It could be a father that constantly travels or traveled for work
- Due to a broken marriage
- Deadbeat dads
- He could be a “sick” father (either medically or due to insanity)
- Father could be abusive (mentally, sexually, verbally or physically)
- He could suffer from addiction / substance abuse
How does this affect a child? I mean, it’s really important to have the presence of both parents in a home, but I think more so, fathers. Fathers are highly regarded by their kids. They are looked upon as heroes, as powerful, as breadwinners and that protective shield for the family. (Don’t get me wrong, same goes for Mothers and if anyone knows that, I do, but my concern today is the father.)
For the sons of a missing father, does it determine your drive and struggle? Do you strive to become better than your father and not repeat the same cycle? Does it hurt so bad that you have no care in the world and turn to a group or organization for brotherly or fatherly love? Do you fall to despair and into the wrong circle of friends and influence? Do you find your direction in uncles, brothers, or other male elders?
And for the daughters of a missing father, do you sometimes find yourself choosing men that posses your father’s traits? Do you gravitate towards abusive men because that’s all you know? Or do you vow to choose wisely…someone very different from your father? Do you hate men because of your father? What is the emotional damage?
After all, your childhood is your foundation.
Kudos to our fathers. The ones that decided to stick around and handle their responsibilities. Kudos to the strong, hardworking, heroic and loving father. Even those that didn’t have a choice but to be missing in their child’s life due to circumstances.
Dear fathers, Your role in your child’s life is crucial. Be the best that you can be, so that your child can be better than you, and his/her child will be better than him/her. Plant that seed today. Talk to your child. Love your child. Endlessly. Guide your child. Tell your child “I love you.” Let your child see you cry. Let your child see you smile. Let your child see you struggle. Missing fathers, it’s never too late to make amends.
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WeWe you’ve said it all in your blog, 1 luv.Hope you have a safe delivery
Our fathers are our role models whether they know it or not. Flesh of my flesh and all that. They teach us to try to be like them, or succeed with our family where they failed with US. And in equal measure they influence the lives of girls and boys- just in different ways. As women we spend our relationships referring to- or running from our dads, good or bad!
Freud was right when he said that the maternal relationship re-invents itself in every aspect of our adult relationships, but he left out the bit about the paternal relationship ‘our daddies’ - who’s names we bear with pride or sufference. My point is that absent, abusive, addictive or loving and nurturing as our fathers are or were, we forgive them, bacause in doing so we forgive ourselves.
@ Olawande, thank you, sir. Much love & appreciation!
@ Debbie, I don’t know what to say. No comments. Well said. Thank you!
of course fathers are a crucial part of the development of the home and the child. not just a physical man there but one that is using all his god given and learnt skills for developing his family. i think the right man with the right leadership for is family is needed to change the world. this is the man that will help his children navigate and understand the world around them. so i salute all man that stand up to this very difficult job. as we all know alot of men runaway from their responsibilty. maybe because they didn’t have a father to teach them what it means to be a man. so ladies let stand up for ourselves because most women are always there for there children know matter what.
Awesome piece. Good writing and content. Dear to my heart as well.
wish you Godspeed my friend.
Scott Hammond
Thank you. Appreciate your comments.