Babies
Are You With a “Mama’s Boy”?
I was asked what I thought of “mama’s boys” and I just couldn’t answer in one sentence or one paragraph. So here goes it.
I’m just going to shoot right to the point. Men, where do you draw the line? If there’s a line, that is. I mean, I think it’s cute for a man to be close to his mom. Personally, I think it translates into how he treats his lady and women in general. They tend to be more respectful and understanding.
However, being a little too close where she is constantly in her’s son’s business (and, I mean, relationships) is definitely detrimental. If you’re with a man in such a situation, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to impress this woman. The mother, that is. She hates you for no darn reason and you will never be good enough to date/marry her son.
Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for men that highly regard their mothers, but to compare your wife to your mother? That’s actually kinda disgusting. Women want to date a man’s man. You know, a strong man. Not one who runs off to his mama for relationship advice and sort. This kind of man cannot think for himself and all he cares or worries about his satisfying his mama’s dying wish. Well, may be not dying wish, but “wishes” in general. (I should be a little nicer.)
As a mother, I can’t imagine being too involved in my son’s life. Not only in relationships, but in every aspect. How does he gain independence, respect from his “boys”, and/or respect from women he dates? Any woman he dates automatically becomes #2. After mama. I think I can speak for all women when i say no woman ever wants to be #2 in a man’s life. Especially if they are sleeping and sharing the same bed. This sort of man has probably never done laundry, cooked, clean or wipe his a** for himself. So, guess who comes in take over mama’s duties (and you better do it right). You!
We can’t always put the blame on the “mama’s boy” in all instances, though. Sometimes, the moms are just too manipulative, they fake cries, make up stories and place their son in awkward situations in which the son can’t stand up for himself, to say “NO”, or always feels sorry and bad for them.
I don’t see how a mama’s boy could be a husband material, but I stand to be corrected. If you’re OK with your mother-in-law dictating how/when you get intimate, how to raise your kids, the manner in which you keep your home, what sort of meal you eat/cook, then you should have no problem here. God forbid you are experiencing fertility issues. Then, you are definitely not worthy of being a wife material, and she quickly finds him a better match or advice him to find a better suited woman. I consider this to be an abusive relationship. An emotional and mental one.
My take? If you don’t understand so far, I’m saying…relationships with mama’s boys don’t usually work out smooth. You will face a lot of challenges that may be never ending, which can result to the termination of a union. Mama’s boys are muppets that have been molded since the very day they were born, and you can’t possibly change that/him unless he wants to do so himself.
I’m a lucky one. My husband loves his mother, and I love, love his mother too. Couldn’t ask for a better mother-in-law. They have a sound and healthy relationship, which makes mine with her more lovely. In fact, I communicate with her more than Greg does. It’s such an effortless relationship…it fits.
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I’m not a big fan of Mama’s boys, and I am also not a fan of boys that have little respect for tehri mothers. Its a delicate balance having the right relationship with on’s mother. Thank God, my hubby and his mom get along, but we get along even better. lol! My hubby once said he was glad we married because I speak to his mom so much that now he hardly needs to. =)
How are you and the kids (including the little one on the way)?
Take care.
SD, it is a delicate balance. I agree. That’s funny that your husband has left the communicating to you.
I am well. Thanks for asking. The kids are great too - we are all counting down. Hope you and yours are well.
Great post! I loved this! My husband and I dated when we were still young, but even then I KNEW I had to teach him to set boundaries with his Mom, or we would never work. We dated for 7 years before we got married, and although she has never said anything to my face, I know that she really does not like me, and wishes that her son didn’t love me. I do agree that Mama’s boys will treat their women right, and be good men, but you will always come #2 unless he can stand up to her. It’s been a tough process, and she still tries to manipulate him, but now that we are living across the country, we have a “healthy” relationship and get along pretty well.
I recently found this great article in my Lifescript.com newsletter about how to know if your husband is a mama’s boy-
http://www.lifescript.com/Life/Relationships/Marriage/Is_Your_Husband_a_Mamas_Boy_6_Ways_to_Put_You_First.aspx
I thought it was cute!
Have a great day!
Carrington- Being far away sure helps, doesn’t it? Thanks for stopping by. Checked out your blog - you have a beautiful family. Thanks for sharing the link above. Enjoyed the read. See you over at your spot soonest.