What is your definition of a trophy wife? Is she highly accomplished, beautiful, young, intelligent OR is she unintelligent, a gold digger, a shopaholic, a bimbo with no sense of self respect?
Whatever your definition is, I see a lot of these around, especially in Los Angeles. And they are often young, beautiful, ditsy, with fake boobs, 4″ heels, and in the arms of not-so-good looking men old enough to be their father or grandfather. Usually, these men are fresh out of a divorce. You constantly hear of stories of such men ending marriages of 20, 30 or 40 something years in search of the perfect accessory: a trophy wife. I like to call these kinds of men, “big poppa.”
I have to confess; I find this quite intriguing. Because in most cases, you can clearly see what the motives are. However, I still don’t understand how someone walks out of a marriage that they’ve nurtured and invested in for so many years, cite irreconcilable differences, then immediately dive right into the dating scene and fish for an arm candy; a lady about the age of their daughter (or younger), whom they probably started courting before their marriage ended, and in some cases, is the root of the divorce.
They get married.
All she clearly wants to do is spend their money, and well, I guess…she puts up with intimacy. An act she probably secretly dreads, but participates in because she knows deep down inside that this is a temporary situation (she’ll leave him for that hunk). Or maybe she’s nailing the pool man, lawn boy, handy man or UPS guy (new meaning to “going postal”).
How does this differ from prostitution? In a backward way, you are paying for sex or getting paid for sex. No?
I often see these men as an “establishment,” an “institution,” a “personal bank,” an “employer.” And the ladies? “Employees,” “business women,” an “investor.” I mean, they are getting paid to “be”. In the end, they cash-out big time.
Granted, people marry for a variety of reasons: love, status, convenience, professional, religious beliefs, economical, arranged, or political so why should marrying a trophy wife for the reason of being a “trophy” be any different, eh? Well, at least make sure she is educated. Make sure when she accompanies you to an event, she can hold her own. Engage in any conversation and make sense while doing so.
I did some research for the definition of the term “trophy wife” or the history behind it and apparently, an article in a 1989 Fortune Magazine introduced the phrase. It described a trophy wife as a woman who is a “decade or two younger than her husband, sometimes several inches taller, beautiful, and very often accomplished.”
Well! Well!! Well!!! very often accomplished? Uhm, I don’t see that anymore.
To be quite frank, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. I mean, all you have to do is tune on to shows like “Housewives of Some County” and you’ll see what I mean. Or look around you. It’s becoming a trend.
With the state of our economy right now, you know these ladies are out there with full effect ready to prey, so are the married or newly divorced older men. Their choices are endless. They choose their trophy, get married, have a baby(ies), she files for a divorce, takes him to court for alimony and child support, marries a much younger guy than “big poppa” then they live happily ever after on “big poppa’s” money and she never has to work a day in her life.
It’s really sad to me that the first wives that have been with these men through hard and rough times, potentially aided them to be the success they are today, and possibly gave up their careers and goals to be stay home moms, end up being the loser at the tail end of the bargain. They are left with nothing (well, perhaps a nice settlement themselves…but they’re the ones who were most likely emotionally vested and committed to a lifelong relationship).
Emotionally, physically, mentally and materially; they are drained with the divorce.
It’s often a sad ending for them while the men enjoy what seems to be a happy and new beginning, at least for the time being…until they themselves get duped by the “trophy wife.”
What are your thoughts?
Fortune magazine definition: