What are your thoughts?
You know, when your spouse portrays little annoyances here and there - that potentially lead to “big deals.” Do you call it quits with him/her?
Are these annoyances really worth the headache and stress of going through a divorce? I personally don’t know. I have always thought that “grounds for divorce” should come in form of infidelity, any kind of abuse, betrayal, falling out of love, lack of respect..you know, the big things. Supposedly. However, those little things, to me, are foundation for the bigger things written above to take place. But what do I know, eh?
Those little quirks should be worked out it before they become grand.
I think most enter into a marriage with expectations. Usually, the men expect that women are caretakers and the duties of the house belongs to them. While some women go in with the notion that men are the money makers and shakers. They make things happen. Make sure the bills get paid, etc.
In my opinion, these are primitive expectations and thoughts. This sort of conversation is such that should come up before getting married. When you two are courting. Topics like chores, finances, health, etc. should be laid out on the table so you don’t get any surprises once you tie the knot.
We need to communicate our thoughts and expectations openly and clearly. Be true to yourself.
I don’t think anyone wants to come home every single day to a lazy partner. It can be irritating. Even more so when you confront them, and they make nothing but lame excuses. One of my readers (who prompted this post), complained of her husband, who recently got laid off. She gets home everyday to find him playing xbox. He played it before he lost his job too. The only time he gets up from playing is when he needs to use the bathroom or grab something to eat. Now, is that grounds for divorce? Well, maybe not…if they can iron it out. These kinds of behavior surely puts a damper on relationships.
Before bringing up the “D” word, though, I think it’s imperative to talk it out with your spouse. Sit him/her down and have a heart to heart conversation. Let them know the severity of this dispute. If your partner truly cares, and wants to make a difference or salvage the relationship, you’ll see it and things will change. Doing chores around the house is not meant for one - not unless you’re paying someone to take care of these responsibilities. Your spouse may have come from a background where him/her have never had to lift a finger. They had everything done for them. So, it may take you actually training and talking over and over again for them to finally get it. To the point where they no longer need reminders and take initiative.
I want to hear your experiences, though. How has this worked (or not) for you?